MMMMMMMPH

I can't express how much I need http://www.wikihow.com/Cheer-Up right now, how much I need to talk to you right now if just to understand what the hell is going on, how much I need to go out with you right now, how much I need to rant to you right now, how much I want you to come back to Singapore right now, and how much I want you to come online right now to somewhat assure me there'll always be people there when I need them. Which happens to be right now.

The week's been a whirlwind of nothingness; I've just been sleeping in late wasting away my time on the computer filling the time with going out and getting lost and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating...which probably contributed to why my mum called me fat just now and encouraged me to eat a lot less. Bloody hell not everyone needs to be a size two to look good.

I can't really explain my mood right now...completely utterly confused would be a good place to start with. Why why why why why why why just keeps circling around and around in my head and it has been for the past what couple of months? and as every single day passes I just have more and more questions and fewer and fewer answers.

There's really so much more I want to type but it's not something for a public blog.

Pretty much always second-best, yes?

On a humongus lighter note: I am going to become a housewife. Yupp, that's right, no more med school for me! Instead I'm going to stay at home and cook and cook and cook and cook and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat some more because a huge span of counter top with a floury rolling pin and a board and a gleaming red Kitchenaid mixer and a terrifying Cuisinart ice-cream maker taking up squatters' rights on the expanse of counter top with a proper multi-level oven underneath it and a deliciously clean stovetop to make messes on...sounds like heaven. And hey - I'd be in America, the berries are so much cheaper there. Of course there'll be a maid to do the cleaning up - I'm only interested in the-before.

Just like you were only interested in the-before-her.